Gentlemen

Shay Sheridan

Due South/Kyou Kara Maou crossover: "Benton Fraser and Conrad Weller being polite at each other" as requested by Daegaer


"Excuse me, is this seat taken?"

"No, it's not. Please." The young man in the tall boots nodded in Benton's direction and quickly removed his jacket from the empty stool. "I beg your pardon. I didn't realize I'd left my tunic there. I'm most sorry." The man inclined his head.

Benton returned the gesture. "Not at all. Thank you kindly."

"You're most welcome."

Benton slid onto the seat as the bartender appeared. "Ah. Nothing for me, bartender."

The bartender frowned. "Ya gotta buy something, buddy, or shove off."

"There's no need to be rude to him," bristled the man in the next seat. He gestured to Benton's uniform. "Can't you see this gentleman is a member of the armed forces? He deserves your respect, sir."

"Okay, I respect him, even if he is dressed like a cherry lollipop, but he needs to buy something or get lost."

"Then allow me, if you will," said the man, "to put it on my tab."

Benton put up a hand. "Thank you, but I assure you it's not necessary for you--"

"Please," said the man. "It would be my pleasure. One military man to another."

"Very well, then." Benton turned to the bartender. "In that case I'll have a...root beer."

"Root beer. Figures." The man grumbled and turned away.

Benton turned to the man next to him, who was putting on his jacket. "Thank you again."

"Don't mention it."

"Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Constable Benton Fraser of the RCMP."

The man bowed slightly. "Sir Conrad Weller," he replied graciously, shaking Benton's offered hand.

"Oh – Sir – Conrad. I’m honored. If I may ask…you appear to be an officer, though I don't recognize the cut of your uniform. Sadly, I’m not conversant with every uniform across the world – who would be? Well, other than Regis Templeton, of course, who was top of the class before me – though – and here's an amusing anecdote – I did win the Queen's medal for long-range military recognition while at Depot." He lowered his eyes. "I fear it's been a few years since then."

"Of course. Most understandable."

"Thank you. If I may...I also observe I detect an accent in your speech, and though I'm usually rather perceptive about such things, if I do say so myself, I’m not certain I recognize the exact origin. If you don't mind my asking, are you perhaps…Lichtensteinian?"

"No…" Sir Conrad shook his head and grinned. "In fact, I'm not certain exactly where Lichtensteinia is. Is that nation on this continent?"

"Well, no. Lichtenstein is in Europe, actually, located equidistant between–"

"Ah, Europe." The man nodded. "Yes. I've heard of Europe."

"Ah. I see." Curious. Perhaps, Benton considered, it was merely a misunderstanding, if Weller's first language were not English. "Well then. In that case, I have to confess you've stumped me! May I inquire where exactly you're from?"

"If you don't mind," Sir Conrad said politely, "I'd prefer not to say, for reasons which do not bear elucidation at this juncture. Suffice to say, I have come to this worl–er, to this city on the trail of…oh, dear." The man's pale complexion colored slightly. "Perhaps I shouldn't say anything more, for fear you'd find it incredible."

"I understand," Benton replied, nodding. "I really do. My partner thinks there's a hole in my own bag of marbles."

"I…beg your pardon?"

"Sorry. That's idiomatic. It means…well, never mind. "Benton smiled and turned his attention to the noisy room. "If you don't mind my saying so, perhaps, as you are a stranger to Chicago, you may not be aware that this establishment caters to a rather unique clientele."

Sir Conrad stared out at the dance floor, where men of every size and shaped gyrated together to a driving beat. He turned to Benton, his eyes crinkling with amusement. "Ah. You mean it's a homosexual bar. I'm quite aware of the fact."

"Oh." Benton blinked. "Then you're not perturbed?"

"Not at all." Sir Conrad shrugged. "In my country it's quite common. In fact, my own brother is engaged to our king."

"Really?" Benton nodded approvingly. "That's very enlightened."

"Merely our custom. So then, Constable Fraser," Weller said, leaning closer, "may I have this dance?"


AN EPILOGUE: "How the Evening Might End"



"Pardon me, Constable. May I insert my member into your orifice?"

"Certainly. I'd be delighted."

"Very well, then....mmmmph."

"Nnnnnnn....well. That is indeed a pleasant sensation."

"I assure you the pleasure is all mine."

"No, no, I must demur."

"Oh, no, I insist. The pleasure is mine."

"Not at all."

"Oh. OH. OH MY, I think I'm about to..."

"By all means, please do."

"I couldn't. Not until you..."

"Thank you kindly, but please, after you."

"If you're quite certain..."

"Indeed. Please continue."

"Very well then, if you insist."

"I do."

"In that case...aaaaaahhhhhhh!"

"Aaaaaaahhhhhhh!"


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